I've always been the shy one in our family. My older sister used to make our new friends for us. Once I knew them, though, they were friends for life. I hated visiting churches for that reason, but my sister...she was sitting in some other family's pew by the end of the service. I've never been like that. It takes me a long time to get to know people usually. Even in college I hated lunch time because I would go down and look into a sea of unfamiliar faces. If I didn't see someone I knew I would jut go eat lunch in my car. (pathetic, I know) After college, when I moved to Springfield, I decided to just step out of my comfort zone and be social even if it felt awkard. Over time it got better, and I would venture to say that now I rarely feel shy or uncomfortable around new people. In fact, I am energized it by it now (thus the "E" part of my ESFJ personality profile--extroversion).
Tonight I was chuckling to myself at proof of this change in my personality. Last week I took Big Sissy to the 3-year-old choir at First Baptist. We don't go to church there. We visited there once, and never went back because it's huge. But they do have great programs for pre-school aged children. As I was dropping her off I saw a flyer for a women's Bible study during the kids' choir time. I wasn't able to check it out because Big Sissy was needing her mommy in a strange place, so I ended up staying with her the whole time. Tonight I dropped her off a few minutes late, helped her go potty (she does that a lot when she's nervous), then I walked upstairs. The Bible study started last week, and they were already going this week, but I walked in anyway. I don't know what made me do it. I think desperation for mental stimulation that I talked about earlier and a need for external motivation to do Bible study. Everyone was going around the room saying how long they'd been at that church and why they were at that Bible study. When it was my turn, I said, "I don't go here and I'm not sure what this Bible study is, but is it OK if I join you?" People laughed, and I was so proud of myself for doing it. There's hope for my kids, too. They won't always need their stuffed animals or their mommy to go to a new class. I can finally go to a class without my mommy or my sister. I have to be patient and remember it's part of the maturing process.
3 comments:
How funny. You may not believe it, but my natural inclination is to be quite shy and withdrawn. I thank my parents (especially my dad, who NEVER saw a stranger) for forcing me to be more outgoing as a youngster. At least I knew I could do it if I ever had to. As I got a little older and joined a couple other girls singing in various places and then married my preacher husband, I was so glad that I had already learned how to come out of my shell a bit and take a chance on being friendly. People don't believe me when I tell them I'm naturally shy, but when my innards are quaking as I step out of my comfort zone, I know it's still the truth. I've just learned how to be something different, and better!
We were talking about this after Carlos' party Saturday. I'm still very much the shy one in our family. Funny thing is, I'm perfectly comfortable teaching large classes--maybe because I know what to say?
I'm so proud of you! Sometimes I feel like I get more shy the older I get... maybe I'm just becoming more of a loner rather than being shy. I think when we were REALLY small, you were the one who made friends (think of elementary school before we moved), then we switched once we moved.
That's a really difficult thing to do... walk into a group (especially of women... I wonder why THAT is!) without knowing anyone. Good job!
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