If Life Gives You a Master Cleanse,

Make Lemonade!!!

For the past couple of years I have heard about this "master cleanse," which consists of water, fresh lemon juice, grade B pure maple syrup, and cayenne pepper. I never had any desire to do it, but I thought it was slightly intriguing.

Not being Catholic, I've never given up anything for Lent. This year, however, Hubby and I both decided to give up Pepsi. We know it's not healthy, and we just needed a reason to stop drinking it. I had one Pepsi during that time, which Catholic friends tell me is normal. Hubby says we get "a mulligan" since we're Protestant. Whatever. I'm just weak. I was still pretty proud of myself, but I was disappointed that I didn't drop any weight and my body didn't miraculously transform during those weeks.

Since I'm a night owl and a google addict, I decided to do some research (not scientific, mind you). I came across a youtube video series of a girl who did this master cleanse for 40 days, and I could see the transformation of her body and her face. Impulsively, I decided to try it. I knew I wouldn't make it 40 days, but I thought I would do the recommended minimum: 10 days. When I woke up the next morning, I packed up the children and headed to Trader Joe's to purchase the lemons and Grade B maple syrup. On the way I sent this text to Hubby: "Started a fast/cleanse today. I might be crabby. Just thought you should know."

The day I started, I also went to my doctor's office for a physical (yes, the children were still with me. That was interesting.) Of course she rolled her eyes when I told her what I was doing and just said that if I felt like I needed to do it, don't do it for a long time.

So a day and a half later, when I CAVED when Hubby ordered roast beef sandwiches for the family (except me, of course), I felt justified that I was following doctor's orders. I felt slightly guilty for eating Little Buddy's sandwich, but he was asleep and had no idea what he missed.

Here's what I learned from this little experiment:
1. I'm weak. I won't lie. I like food.
2. The cleanse didn't seem to cleanse. I found out later I was supposed to be drinking a herbal laxative tea at night, but somehow I missed that little detail.
3. Lemonade made with maple syrup is tasty, but it all gets ruined by the cayenne pepper.
4. Did I mention that I like food? Lemonade isn't food no matter how it's made.
5. You can use lemons for all kinds of things--you know, just in case you have a 10-day supply laying around. Of course they make really great lemonade with old-fashioned sugar (which is also handy when you have a child with an intolerance to yellow dye), but you can also use them to dissolve your tablets for dying eggs.
6. It's a really bad idea to break your fast with Arby's roast beef followed by a Sam's club hot dog, even if said fast only lasted a day and a half. Somehow the hot dog has more of a cleansing effect at that point than the lemonade ever did.
7. I cannot drink 60 oz. of liquid in a day even if I'm not consuming food. So to drink all of that lemonade PLUS regular water in a day was physically impossible.

Master Cleanse = Fail. But we are currently enjoying our diet of sugary lemonade and Pepsi. Back to water tomorrow. With food.

Oh, yes. He speaks.

I have shared with you some of my frustrations about Little Buddy's speech delay. He is still hard to understand at times, but it seems to be "age appropriate delays" so far. What's happening now is that he talks so much and so fast that he's hard to understand. I wouldn't trade it, though. I love getting a glimpse of what's going on in his head. And there's a lot going on. I was so proud of him today as he told MawMaw and PawPaw not only the story of the resurrection but last week's Palm Sunday lesson.

Last night I recorded him telling us what Easter is all about. Hang on to your seats. He's precious.

Mini Silly Me

Everyone always talks about Big Sissy being a "Mini Me." She has my eye color and hair color, and she is analytical and logical like me. But there's this other side of me--the one that will do crazy things to make people laugh. Little Sissy is the "mini THAT me." We have been cracking up at her lately.

Here's her impersonation of Flynn Rider in Tangled. He's trying to win Rapunzel over with his smolder. He says, "I hate to do this to you, but...and then makes this face."

"Hey, Mommy. Take a picture of me hugging Little Buddy."

"Who am I?" I'm Daddy!


"Hey, look! I'm a walrus!"

I am so blessed to have three children with three different personalities and gift sets. They make my life so full and rich. And hilarious.

Charity Basket

Big Sissy is obsessed with Webkinz. She had 3 of them before her birthday, and by the time we were finished with her birthday and Christmas she was up to 17. But as marketing schemes go, you have to have certain KINDS of Webkinz to unlock all the games on the website. So it's never enough. I sort of refuse to buy her any more. I finally just bought a pet net--you know, the hammock that hangs on the wall and harbors stuffed animals. I don't really want any more. But she is determined. So a few weeks ago she decided that the quarters for making beds and other household tasks were not getting her to her goal fast enough. She made 15 Easter cards and set up a shop at the end of our driveway. Our sweet neighbor across the street, Becky, was her first customer.

Well, let me rephrase. She was the only customer. After a little while of waiting for random cars to drive by, notice that she had a shop, and stop to buy cards; she talked her daddy into taking her door to door. I was mortified when I found out because I didn't want the neighbors to think we were scamming them or that we were desperate for money. But Hubby took it as an opportunity to meet the neighbors and teach Big Sissy some interpersonal/sales skills. He's much nicer than I am.


It totally worked. She had sold all of them within about 15 minutes. I am completely shocked that (a) she got $1 each for those cards, (b) my introverted husband went door-to-door to meet the neighbors, and (c) she ended up pooling her money with her siblings to buy Tangled instead of another Webkinz.

But the story doesn't end there. Because on Good Friday my nightmare came true. Remember Sweet Becky? She came knocking on the door with an Easter basket stuffed full of treats for the kids. I'm doing self talk to tell myself that she just thinks our kids are adorable and she misses having little ones, but secretly I am afraid that she thinks we have to sell cards for money. Probably we don't have enough money to buy an Easter basket for our children. Regardless of the motivation, we had a nice neighborly chat and we used the charity basket to put our beautifully dyed eggs in this Easter.

Now go make some more cards, honey. Baby needs a new pair of shoes.