Genogram Week

I have had an emotional, fun, busy, exciting, exhausting, family-filled week. Seriously, I don't remember the last time I spent this much time with my extended family. Christmas doesn't really count because all the time is spent with food preparation and gift opening. This week was different: Thursday, Grant's Farm with about 14 of us; Friday, wedding rehearsal with some of us; Saturday, wedding with almost ALL of us; Sunday, church and Father's Day dinner with many of us, with a visit to my aunt and uncle on Mom's side of the family sandwiched in; Monday, tea party and swimming with my cousin from Malaysia and her 2 little girls; Tuesday, Magic House with the same cousin and family.

I have laughed, cried, analyzed, processed, lamented, speculated, and dreamed. First I got teary watching Big Sissy walk up the aisle with the sweetest little boy and realizing that all too soon it will be for real and my little girl will leave me to spend her life with a BOY (who I hope is as sweet as the ring bearer). Again on Sunday as my uncle was preaching I was able to glance to my left and see my grandparents worshipping, then about 20 of the family gathered around a cousin when she went forward to pray. It just felt so natural to be worshipping with my family. As I watched my grandpa cry I realized that he is where I get my tendency to get teary at church. As I watched my dad pour our chai tea lattes I realized that he is where I get my love for coffee. I watched my mom take care of me and the children and realized she is where I learned to nurture my family. So many people have influenced who I have become.

A genogram is a counseling tool that looks much like a family tree except it also describes relationships among the individuals in the family. It is helpful to see patterns emerging and figure out one's own place in the family. I have been doing this mentally all week. My final conclusion is that though we have our issues I am so thankful for my family. My heart breaks for those who have made choices that have alienated them from this group which is designed to bring us comfort, help meet our needs, give us a sense of belonging, and show us what it looks like to be in the next phase of life.

Now I'm back to doing laundry and picking up toys--just me and the kids again during the days. I forgot how much I needed the family connection to figure out who I am, why I am the way that I am, and how I can work to make things better for the next generations.