Dear Sunshine

My sweet, perfect beautiful cousin is getting married in June. Grandpa calls her Little Miss Sunshine, so that was the theme. Little Sissy gets to be the flower girl, so there will be many pictures to come. At the shower we all had an opportunity to write her a note in a journal. I didn't want to scare her, but the thing I wanted to say most is that marriage is HARD WORK. It is worth it, of course, but there are challenges--money juggling, emotion controlling, in-law balancing, decision making , family planning, career joining, chore delegating. Then kids come and it's exciting and beautiful, but with the little bundles of blessing come new challenges--finding time for each other, finding time for yourself, and really staying connected. Here's an example. This is how our weekend together went:

Thursday: Hubby got home from Chicago about 5:30. At 6:00 we left to go to a meeting to learn more about homeschooling.

Friday: Hubby got home from work about 5:00. We fed the kids dinner, and at 6:00 we left to go to Trivia Night at our church. It was so much fun AND we won free babysitting from one of our favorite girls at church who works with the kids. We got home way past the kids' bedtime and figured we would pay the price.

Saturday: We finally had a relaxing morning, then we darted off to IL so I could go to Sunshine's bridal shower and Hubby and the kids could go play with Papa B. I picked the family up, we stopped by home to drop off the food from the first party and pick up food for the next party (and clean pants for Little Sissy, who pooped in hers during the first one), and went to have dinner with friends. We left early on purpose since we were going to lose an hour of sleep, but everyone was still over-tired. After we dealt with the tantrums and got everyone calmed down, we were ready to crash too.

Sunday: We survived the time change and got to church only 15 minutes late (for the 2nd service, of course), had lunch, got everyone down for naps, I went to choir practice, we had dinner and got everyone to bed.

Tomorrow: Hubby leaves for Chicago again. *sigh*

So, Dear Sunshine, cherish these moments together. One day you won't be able to sleep in together on Saturdays. Or go for a spontaneous walk without dragging out the double stroller. Or stay out late without some planning ahead with a babysitter. But hopefully when that time comes you will be ready to sacrifice those things. And you will change and grow together as a couple. And you will appreciate your time together more than ever. They tell me that before you know it, you'll blink and they'll be out later than you, and they will sleep in later than you. Then one day they'll move out and have families of their own. And you'll grow old together--just the two of you. And it will seem like the kids were with you for only a minute. Marriage is hard, but it is good. And if you fight for it, it gets better and better. If I sound old and wise, it's only because I've gotten good advice from people who have been there, and today I need to hear it too. Love is a choice that you will make every day that you are together, and even when you are apart. Make the choice, and then don't look back. You won't regret it. Oh, and just in case you ever feel like giving up, don't hesitate to find someone you trust to talk to. We all need encouragement from time to time. You are a beautiful person, Sunshine, and you've picked a stellar man who loves you dearly. Your foundation of faith will be invaluable in the days to come. Enjoy the ride, and congratulations.