If Life Gives You a Master Cleanse,

Make Lemonade!!!

For the past couple of years I have heard about this "master cleanse," which consists of water, fresh lemon juice, grade B pure maple syrup, and cayenne pepper. I never had any desire to do it, but I thought it was slightly intriguing.

Not being Catholic, I've never given up anything for Lent. This year, however, Hubby and I both decided to give up Pepsi. We know it's not healthy, and we just needed a reason to stop drinking it. I had one Pepsi during that time, which Catholic friends tell me is normal. Hubby says we get "a mulligan" since we're Protestant. Whatever. I'm just weak. I was still pretty proud of myself, but I was disappointed that I didn't drop any weight and my body didn't miraculously transform during those weeks.

Since I'm a night owl and a google addict, I decided to do some research (not scientific, mind you). I came across a youtube video series of a girl who did this master cleanse for 40 days, and I could see the transformation of her body and her face. Impulsively, I decided to try it. I knew I wouldn't make it 40 days, but I thought I would do the recommended minimum: 10 days. When I woke up the next morning, I packed up the children and headed to Trader Joe's to purchase the lemons and Grade B maple syrup. On the way I sent this text to Hubby: "Started a fast/cleanse today. I might be crabby. Just thought you should know."

The day I started, I also went to my doctor's office for a physical (yes, the children were still with me. That was interesting.) Of course she rolled her eyes when I told her what I was doing and just said that if I felt like I needed to do it, don't do it for a long time.

So a day and a half later, when I CAVED when Hubby ordered roast beef sandwiches for the family (except me, of course), I felt justified that I was following doctor's orders. I felt slightly guilty for eating Little Buddy's sandwich, but he was asleep and had no idea what he missed.

Here's what I learned from this little experiment:
1. I'm weak. I won't lie. I like food.
2. The cleanse didn't seem to cleanse. I found out later I was supposed to be drinking a herbal laxative tea at night, but somehow I missed that little detail.
3. Lemonade made with maple syrup is tasty, but it all gets ruined by the cayenne pepper.
4. Did I mention that I like food? Lemonade isn't food no matter how it's made.
5. You can use lemons for all kinds of things--you know, just in case you have a 10-day supply laying around. Of course they make really great lemonade with old-fashioned sugar (which is also handy when you have a child with an intolerance to yellow dye), but you can also use them to dissolve your tablets for dying eggs.
6. It's a really bad idea to break your fast with Arby's roast beef followed by a Sam's club hot dog, even if said fast only lasted a day and a half. Somehow the hot dog has more of a cleansing effect at that point than the lemonade ever did.
7. I cannot drink 60 oz. of liquid in a day even if I'm not consuming food. So to drink all of that lemonade PLUS regular water in a day was physically impossible.

Master Cleanse = Fail. But we are currently enjoying our diet of sugary lemonade and Pepsi. Back to water tomorrow. With food.

Oh, yes. He speaks.

I have shared with you some of my frustrations about Little Buddy's speech delay. He is still hard to understand at times, but it seems to be "age appropriate delays" so far. What's happening now is that he talks so much and so fast that he's hard to understand. I wouldn't trade it, though. I love getting a glimpse of what's going on in his head. And there's a lot going on. I was so proud of him today as he told MawMaw and PawPaw not only the story of the resurrection but last week's Palm Sunday lesson.

Last night I recorded him telling us what Easter is all about. Hang on to your seats. He's precious.

Mini Silly Me

Everyone always talks about Big Sissy being a "Mini Me." She has my eye color and hair color, and she is analytical and logical like me. But there's this other side of me--the one that will do crazy things to make people laugh. Little Sissy is the "mini THAT me." We have been cracking up at her lately.

Here's her impersonation of Flynn Rider in Tangled. He's trying to win Rapunzel over with his smolder. He says, "I hate to do this to you, but...and then makes this face."

"Hey, Mommy. Take a picture of me hugging Little Buddy."

"Who am I?" I'm Daddy!


"Hey, look! I'm a walrus!"

I am so blessed to have three children with three different personalities and gift sets. They make my life so full and rich. And hilarious.

Charity Basket

Big Sissy is obsessed with Webkinz. She had 3 of them before her birthday, and by the time we were finished with her birthday and Christmas she was up to 17. But as marketing schemes go, you have to have certain KINDS of Webkinz to unlock all the games on the website. So it's never enough. I sort of refuse to buy her any more. I finally just bought a pet net--you know, the hammock that hangs on the wall and harbors stuffed animals. I don't really want any more. But she is determined. So a few weeks ago she decided that the quarters for making beds and other household tasks were not getting her to her goal fast enough. She made 15 Easter cards and set up a shop at the end of our driveway. Our sweet neighbor across the street, Becky, was her first customer.

Well, let me rephrase. She was the only customer. After a little while of waiting for random cars to drive by, notice that she had a shop, and stop to buy cards; she talked her daddy into taking her door to door. I was mortified when I found out because I didn't want the neighbors to think we were scamming them or that we were desperate for money. But Hubby took it as an opportunity to meet the neighbors and teach Big Sissy some interpersonal/sales skills. He's much nicer than I am.


It totally worked. She had sold all of them within about 15 minutes. I am completely shocked that (a) she got $1 each for those cards, (b) my introverted husband went door-to-door to meet the neighbors, and (c) she ended up pooling her money with her siblings to buy Tangled instead of another Webkinz.

But the story doesn't end there. Because on Good Friday my nightmare came true. Remember Sweet Becky? She came knocking on the door with an Easter basket stuffed full of treats for the kids. I'm doing self talk to tell myself that she just thinks our kids are adorable and she misses having little ones, but secretly I am afraid that she thinks we have to sell cards for money. Probably we don't have enough money to buy an Easter basket for our children. Regardless of the motivation, we had a nice neighborly chat and we used the charity basket to put our beautifully dyed eggs in this Easter.

Now go make some more cards, honey. Baby needs a new pair of shoes.

Bye Bye, Brown?

Little Sissy is just getting so big. She is 4 1/2 now, which is VERY NEAR 5, as you know. We have had many posts about Brown Lamby and her great love for him. In fact, just a few weeks ago she took him to preschool for Show and Tell. We did a write up (in case of stage fright), and she told me that she wants to sleep with him forever. Well, as life in the Brimm house goes, he got lost again last Saturday. I knew he was in our house somewhere because she woke up with him, and we were gone all day. He is no longer allowed to travel with us unless we are staying overnight at our destination. This time has been different from all previous times, though. The last time he got lost for about 12 days, she literally grieved. She cried every night, she thought she "heard" him a few times. She even had dreams about mean animals trying to get him. But this time she has been so proud of herself because she hasn't cried at all. In fact, she's noticed that she hasn't sucked her fingers at all since he's been gone. This is something that she has wanted since her 4-year-old checkup, when Dr. Dave told her she's too big to suck her fingers now.

So now she's 4 1/2 going on 20. I think she's going to be OK without him this time. I'm a little sad, but I'm working on a photo book of Little Sissy and Brown Lamby so she can always remember her sweet relationship with him. And this time when he appears he can get stored away for posterity. I hope.

Happy Tax Return

I have such good childhood memories involving my bike--the birthday that I got my pink flowered bike with the banana seat, riding to the ice cream shop with my cousins, playing cowboys and Indians in our neighborhood, hiking my dress up to get on. Hubby and I bought ourselves bikes with our first tax return as a married couple and had lots of fun rides around Forest Park, on the trails at Castlewood State Park, and at Creve Coeur Lake. We've been blessed with several hand-me-down bicycles for our children, so they have had some practice riding bikes. We really wanted to get them new bikes for Christmas, but we learned last year with the trampoline that it's no fun to get a Christmas gift that you can't use for months. So we decided that would be our Happy Tax Return gift for the children this year. After all, they're the reason we even get a return. :) Toys 'R Us had a trade-in deal where we could bring in 3 old bikes and get some money off of their new bikes. It was a great way to clean out the garage and get a discount at the same time. So last Sunday this is how we spent the beautiful afternoon--riding bikes around the toy store while each child chose their favorite bike and riding around the parking lot before we went home. I'm dreaming of the day when they all can pedal, brake, and steer all at the same time and we can do family bike rides together. We're almost there!

The Little Mermonster

When I have to read something over and over again, my brain has no choice but to analyze it and ponder its deeper meanings. I'm sure that's why God tells us to hide His Word in our hearts. It forces us to apply principles to our lives daily. Unfortunately in this phase of my life, what I get to read over and over are fairy tales. Don't get me wrong. I love fairy tales as much as the next girl. But Little Sissy is IN LOVE with princesses. We have had the Princess Treasury for 9 weeks now from the library, and it is literally falling apart. I should have just bought her one to begin with because now we're probably going to have to pay for this one. The Treasury containes the unabridged version of each Disney princess's story, so I have become quite familiar with each of them.

Random fact: Sleeping Beauty's real name is Aurora, but the good fairies renamed her "Briar Rose" when they were hiding her from the evil witch for 16 years so she wouldn't accidentally prick her finger on the spindle. I always wondered why she had so many names. Now I know and so do you. :)

So here's what I have been pondering (because you want to know what goes on in this crazy brain of mine, right??)...how on earth did The Little Mermaid make into the classics? I always loved the movie and especially the music, but now that I know her--because I feel like I really KNOW her now--I just don't think she measures up. Let's take Cinderella as an example. She was born into a family of means, thrown into an unfortunate and even abusive environment, and yet she remained sweet and gentle with a servant's heart. Everything in me wants her to be a princess and be rescued by the hero on the white horse. Then there's Belle. She is from a dysfunctional, single-parent home, but she loves to read and learn, doesn't care what people think of her, AND she offers to trade places so her sick father can be freed from the Beast and his dungeon. That girl deserves to be a princess and have her love transformed into a handsome prince. Next may I present Ariel, daughter of King Triton.

She apparently is also from a single-parent home (at least there's no mention of a mother), but instead of honoring her father she is constantly disobeying him to go have her adventures, missing her own concerts, and she sells her soul and that of her father to the evil sea witch Ursula. All she has to win over Prince Eric is her looks. She's sold her soul and her talents to get the boy. Ugh. That is not a model that I want my children to look up to.

If you scroll back to January 8, 2009, you will see a post I wrote psychoanalyzing the Three Little Pigs, which is what we were reading with high frequency at the time. Maybe someday I'll get to write about things that are real, but for now I'm going to recommend a little mercounseling for our little lost soul and use her as an example of how not to win over the boy.

The End.