Mommy Guilt

After all of those posts about trying to decide what to do about Big Sissy and her schooling, I was hoping that once I made a decision I could just rest in knowing that it was the right one. I felt really good about so many things, but we've hit a bump in the road. First, a big boy on the school bus told her that she couldn't sit in her seat because he was saving it for his friends. Since that's where she thought she was supposed to sit, she was really confused and anxious. She hasn't really been around mean kids much. Then she was sick and missed the 2nd full week of school. So while the other kids were getting to know each other and the routine, she was laying home in bed hanging out at home with us. She keeps telling me she enjoyed it once she gets home, but every morning she doesn't want to go and has to run to the bathroom every time I tell her the bus will be here soon. She missed the bus for that reason yesterday. She was hating naptime too, since she is used to reading books during rest time, but now the teacher gives them the option of resting, reading, or writing. So today this is what she did during rest time:

This is a picture of her looking out of the window of her classroom. It says, "I want to be home." Yikes. I feel so bad. I just want her to be loving it.

But then the other side seems better. It says,
"I hope You Had fuN
Love caRoliNe
I HaD a Good
time at shool I Like
MY classRooM I
doNt No If You KNeW
this but We WeNt
to pe (gym?) I had fuN todaY
DiD You? We aRe still
haviNG to LeaVe the
NaP baGs at sHool
DiD You haVe fuN?

I'm gathering that she doesn't want us to have fun without her? On the bright side, we figured out how to buy lunches in the cafeteria. That was big for both of us because I had to figure out how to get money into her account, then she had to memorize a pin number so that she could access the money. That's pretty high tech for these girls. The pancakes on Tuesday were worth the effort, though, so we did it. It's a good thing, too, because today we slept so late I didn't have time to make a lunch. Then we ran out the door to get Little Sissy to preschool and forgot Little Buddy's shoes. Is it summer yet???