Princess and the Popper

Little Sissy: Let's play the Princess and the Pauper.
Me: OK. How do we play?
Little Sissy: I'll be a princess, and you go pop my brother.

She doesn't even know how funny she is.

Just One More Time

Did I say that I wasn't going to talk about the schooling dilemma anymore until someone had started somewhere? I meant when someone is ENROLLED somewhere. Yep. Big Sissy is enrolled in kindergarten. At public school. I don't know how I feel about it, but that's what we're doing. Most of you know that my precious grandpa passed away a week and a half ago. He was wise, spiritual, and non-judgmental. So in his last days, you would think I would ask him about heaven or about theology or about something deep and meaningful. Nope. I asked him about what to do with Big Sissy. He opened his tired eyes, laid his thin hand on my arm and said, "Sis, no matter what you choose, remember this: Her real learning will happen in the home." I didn't hear angels sing. I didn't feel an eerie wind. I just felt comfort. She's going to be fine. And if not, we'll do something different. But for now I feel peaceful. I also resigned my publicity position for next year in my MOPS group. I feel like I'm on my way to a balanced life. We'll see.

A Little Bit More?

Well, if you insist, I'll talk a LITTLE bit more about my schooling dilemma. Because maybe youre not QUITE sick of hearing me waffle back and forth in my decision. Here's what I've realized (at least today). I genuinely desire to homeschool my children. I want to spend the time with them. I want to be involved in their education. I want it to be tailored to their interests and their learning style, and this is just not possible in a crowded public school environment.

But here's the selfish reality: I need a break. Not an every day, all day kind of break--just a couple of days a week kind of break. Maybe that's why I didn't feel the same angst when I signed Little Sissy up for preschool tonight. In fact, I gloated a little that I got there late and was the last person to get into the 2-mornings-a-week slot. I don't even know who I'm competing with, but it made me happy. So why am I not teary about sending her to preschool the same way I am about sending Big Sissy to kindergarten? Maybe it's the first child syndrome. We've always been connected in a very special way. Maybe it's her personality. She's an interesting combination of bright and timid, and I don't want her to get lost (that would never in a million years happen to Little Sissy because she wouldn't let it). Maybe it's just that I can't let go? I shared in an earlier post how I can't stand the thought of letting go of someone I love--not to death. Not even to kindergarten, for Pete's sake!

So I would have already signed Big Sissy up for kindergarten if it had not gotten snowed out. And maybe not for the right reasons, but for a reason that seems compelling at this very moment. I feel weary. Little Sissy had an accident in her bed yesterday, and I told her to just change her pants and scoot over. Seriously. Tonight I sat in the grocery store parking lot and read a magazine because I knew if I went home I wouldn't have time to read it. I just need a little breather. And she wants to do it, so why not try? But I have to admit I feel a little like a loser mom for sending her to school. I don't know why I feel like I have to save the world through every decision I make, but I feel guilty if I make a decision for less-than-noble reasons. And I feel like this is one of those times. It's not about sending her to a dark place to take the light of Jesus. It's not about introducing her to socialization and conflict resolution. It's kind of about wanting to read a magazine without feeling guilty or working out a little or cleaning my house a little. So there it is. Thank you for hearing my confession, and I won't talk about it again until someone has actually enrolled and started attending somewhere.

Happy Birthday to My Little Buddy

I feel so baby-less. Little Buddy turned 2. He's such a precious little man--you know, when he's not breaking my nose or something. He has such a great personality and so full of energy! I have to say he makes me wish I could have another one. But, alas. I am done with babies. Thankfully my little guy still loves to cuddle--way more than the girls ever did. I love how he mimics people's expressions and tones even when he can't say the words. I love how he gets SO excited about things and belly laughs regularly. I love how tender he is with babies. I love his fascination with stepstools and finding ways to get things himself. He gets up before me most mornings and goes to the pantry, gets an oatmeal bar, and brings it to me. Or he gets gum out of my purse and chews it for a little while before he lets me know he's awake. Sneaky. We've been telling him for several months that he can have gum when he turns 2. So this was a big year. First ear infection and first "legal" gum. I got him a bubble gum bank for his birthday. Oh, and a train set. He thinks he's supposed to play with Barbies and princesses because that's what his sisters do, so we're trying to open his mind to the idea of "boy toys." He can say choo choo so we picked a train theme.

One of my favorite parts of the celebration: A BEAUTIFUL train cake that didn't come from WalMart AND I didn't have to make AND I didn't have to pay an arm and a leg for. I had the hardest time cutting into it. I mentioned in an earlier post this great cake lady that I met at the craft fair I worked at. Her website is www.cakestl.com if you're in the area and need a cake.

This is the part where we teach my aggressive boy that if you don't get what you want, you just hit it harder. Hmmm... Anyway, our kids love pinatas, so this was a fun treat.

Reaping the rewards: "ollipops and num!"

I love this face. He didn't feel well, but it didn't stop him from being totally excited about every single gift. The whole world is amazing to him. Happy birthday, Little Buddy. I love you so much!

Love Is Patient, Love Is Kind

Love does not mind wasting half a loaf of bread to make heart-shaped sandwiches for her precious babies.

Enamored

With bobby pins,

Silly faces,

And each other.