Peanut Butter 101

Tonight I had to get a few items at the grocery store, one of which was peanut butter. I start panicking when I see scrape marks on the side. Must get more...must get more...must get more. Anyway, I saw a group of young guys huddling in front of the peanut butter. At first I was a little intimidated, and then I heard their conversation:

"So there's creamy, crunchy, and extra crunchy. Don't they have just REGULAR peanut butter? I guess crunchy is regular, because it's in between creamy and extra crunchy, right?"

"Uhhh...I dunno. I guess so."

The nice thing would have been to ask if they needed help, but I didn't want to insult their "intelligence." I don't want to brag, but I do know my peanut butter. I'm thinking they were college freshmen, straight from mama's house to the grocery store. Maybe colleges should offer a mandatory freshman class so these poor kids can survive, like "Peanut Butter 101." If they had that when I was a freshman, I feel confident I could have taken that instead of caluculus and kept my scholarship. I probably could have tested my way to a peanut butter minor, at least. I'm not sure there's much use for that, but it's probably just as good as a sociology minor. Anyway, I was there once. I remember when I first got married I was making a recipe that called for 2 cloves of garlic. I bought a package that had 2 bulbs in it, so I thought that must be what it meant...oops. Live and learn. One bite of crunchy will be enough to never make the peanut butter mistake again. Oh to be a fly on that dorm room wall for the first bite...