A New Little Surprise

Here's what's going on in my world. We're going to have another baby!!!! Yes, it's true, and yes I know how this happens. I'm having some mixed emotions right now because it's all so new. I'm thrilled at the thought of having another child and I love that he/she will be close in age with the others. Since we got such a late start, I didn't think I would have the opportunity to have 3. I am so blessed! Then the reality strikes me...I am going to be huge pregnant with 2 little ones who still want/need to be held quite often. I remember how my back hurt by the end last time and how I couldn't get up from the floor and how Big Sissy would hide in these little places that I couldn't get to. And then I'm going to have a newborn and I'll have no sleep and I'll have to get up to get the other 2 ready anyway and they'll only be 3 and 1 and limited as to what they can do for themselves. And then they'll all be in college at the same time and we have to find a way to pay for that, but before that we'll have 2 in diapers full-time and one probably still in pull-ups at night and we have to find a way to pay for that. OK....breathe. Let's focus. God has always provided. That long time of waiting for Big Sissy gives me a good perspective to realize what an amazing miracle this is, and even for my positive ept I really had a desire to have another child. This is quite a shift from how I felt in the early months after Little Sissy came. So God was kind to prepare me in that way. AND at least this time we have a house and a place to put a crib. And at least this child was not conceived at my parents' house--there's something just wrong about that. :) So as I talk myself through this and wait for the unexpected and terrifying unknown, I still have this blessed peace in my heart that this is going to be another amazing child that God has planned all along to place in our family. I truly am blessed!