Apologies

I spend a lot of time apologizing, and though I'm certainly no expert I have learned some things over the years. This is what I'm thinking about today. Feel free to send other tips to add to the list. Feel free to forward it to your friends (unless they recently apologized badly--this might offend them. Then you'll have to apologize.)

• Just do it. You know when you need to apologize. Don't ignore it.
• Don't negate the apology with extra words (like "but you deserved it" or "but I had a lot on my mind"). Just apologize and stop talking.
• Don't say something like, "I'm sorry about last night." Last night is neutral. Last night doesn't need to apologize. You do. Take ownership for what you did.
• Don't say, "I'm sorry IF I hurt you." If I ran out of the room crying or stopped talking for the rest of the night, you can be fairly sure you did hurt me. Just say, "I'm sorry I hurt you."
• Don't apologize for saying I looked fat in those pants by bringing me a candy bar. Also don't apologize by bringing me a SlimFast. That's worse.
• Don't apologize for always being on the computer by sending me an email. Oh, and don't apologize by email unless absolutely necessary. There's something about e-forgiveness that just doesn't feel natural. And what if no one responds? Yeah, that's awkward.
• If you need to apologize, don't just follow me around asking me questions like, "What are you doing?" What I'm doing is trying to get away from you, but you keep following me around!
• Last but not least, always follow an apology with a hug. This seals the deal and might even make the person laugh if they're not expecting a hug. If you're not a good hugger, well...keep practicing. You'll get it. Happy relationship mending!