No Return, No Exchange

Big Sissy is always saying things that make me laugh. Today I asked her if we got a new baby would she want a baby brother or baby sister. "Brudder," she said without hesitation. Then she pointed at Little Sissy, "But we need to take this baby back to God." Oops. I'll have to explain the no return/no exchange policy on the babies we already have.

Beautiful Ultrasound

I had an early ultrasound today to hear the baby's heartbeat. I don't know if my doctor does this for everyone or if it's because I'm high risk, but it makes me cry even the third time around. Of course I had a positive pregnancy test and I gag just brushing my teeth, but it would be easy to dismiss those things and pretend this isn't real. But seeing a little tiny form that already had a strong, beating heart is absolutely amazing. No wonder Pregnancy Resource Centers use ultrasound machines as a deterrent to abortion. There is no doubting the life I just saw growing in my womb. I wish everyone could have an early ultrasound and experience the beauty. At least now when I am gagging at the smell of someone's lunch, I can balance it with the notion that I have the awesome privilege of carrying this little growing person. So it was a good report--things are going as they should!!

A New Little Surprise

Here's what's going on in my world. We're going to have another baby!!!! Yes, it's true, and yes I know how this happens. I'm having some mixed emotions right now because it's all so new. I'm thrilled at the thought of having another child and I love that he/she will be close in age with the others. Since we got such a late start, I didn't think I would have the opportunity to have 3. I am so blessed! Then the reality strikes me...I am going to be huge pregnant with 2 little ones who still want/need to be held quite often. I remember how my back hurt by the end last time and how I couldn't get up from the floor and how Big Sissy would hide in these little places that I couldn't get to. And then I'm going to have a newborn and I'll have no sleep and I'll have to get up to get the other 2 ready anyway and they'll only be 3 and 1 and limited as to what they can do for themselves. And then they'll all be in college at the same time and we have to find a way to pay for that, but before that we'll have 2 in diapers full-time and one probably still in pull-ups at night and we have to find a way to pay for that. OK....breathe. Let's focus. God has always provided. That long time of waiting for Big Sissy gives me a good perspective to realize what an amazing miracle this is, and even for my positive ept I really had a desire to have another child. This is quite a shift from how I felt in the early months after Little Sissy came. So God was kind to prepare me in that way. AND at least this time we have a house and a place to put a crib. And at least this child was not conceived at my parents' house--there's something just wrong about that. :) So as I talk myself through this and wait for the unexpected and terrifying unknown, I still have this blessed peace in my heart that this is going to be another amazing child that God has planned all along to place in our family. I truly am blessed!

Just Feeling Blessed Today

I'm thankful today for the friends God has put in my life. Looking back over this past month on the calendar, I've enjoyed time with people I used to work with, people I used to go to church with, people I've met in class, and this week I get to hang out with one of my new Business Card Friends. I'm really excited. We still don't really know where "home" is as far as churches, but while we are missing that kind of community God has been faithful to provide playmates for me and the girls! These pictures are from a playdate at a great aquatic center nearby. Little Sissy actually enjoyed the water by the end!

Summer Fun

Here are some cute pictures of what we've been doing lately. You'll notice there are no pictures of Little Sissy in the pool. That's because she hates the sun in her eyes, the other kids splashing, the feel of the cold water--pretty much everything about the pool. Both of the girls love their ride toys, though, and we've been loving having a driveway of our own. I rarely post pictures of myself. That's mostly because I haven't had a haircut since October and it's getting embarrassing, but here's one of me and one of Daddy man too. If I get a haircut, I'll post better pictures of all of us. Enjoy!

Authenticity

We moved to our community in January, and I've been trying to get to know some other moms in the neighborhood. The girls and I do lots of outings, like trips to the library, the park, the mall, etc. Twice now I have met another mom whom I enjoyed talking to. They both seemed like they wanted to be friends, and then when it was time to exchange phone numbers so we could have a play date, they handed me a business card for their home business. Now, maybe they would have been friendly anyway, but the business card made me doubt their intentions. It said to me, "I want to be friends so I can build my business."

I know I'm a cynic, but I don't think I'm the only one. It's made me think about they way we do evangelism. Let's face it. We all have something to sell: our convictions, our passions, our moral values. I had one friend who was all about the environment. She gave us a tree and actually planted it in our yard for a wedding gift. There was no doubt what she was "selling," but that's not why she befriended me. It's just who she was. People value authenticity. If you befriend someone only so you can hand them a tract or give your spiel, the cynics out there are going to be turned off like I was with the business cards. I think we need to share Jesus with our friends because they are our friends and we care. I DON'T think we should be "friends" only to evangelize. Evangelism will flow naturally out of our love for Jesus and passion to see souls saved. I'm not saying you should never share the gospel with a total stranger. The Holy Spirit may lead that way, but we need to be authentic and ditch the hidden agenda.

So, I'm going to meet with my two new friends and give them the benefit of the doubt as I hope others would do with me. They are real people with cute children who need friends. And who knows? Maybe I'll eventually buy their product and maybe eventually they will see Jesus in me and be interested too.

The Mind of a 2-year-old

It's been tricky teaching Big Sissy how to take care of "our baby," like keeping little things away from her that she could choke on. After a scary choking incident in the car, after which I pulled an entire Curious George sticker out of Little Sissy's throat, I tried again to explain the importance. "We can't put little things around Little Sissy," I started. "Like stickers," Big Sissy interrupted. "Right," I agreed. "We don't want her to choke on them." Big Sissy nodded, and I thought we were in agreement until she said, "Yeah, 'cause then they might not be sticky any more." Right...