Pediophobia

Pediophobia: (n) The fear of dolls.

Not pedophobia: the fear of children. Related, but different.

Tonight we took the girls to Target to pick out new baby dolls, their "reward" of choice for doing so well with "schoolwork" this year and doing so well at potty training. There were soooo many to choose from: babies that cooed and crawled, babies that drank and wet, babies that cried and giggled, twin babies that carried on conversations with each other. The girls had to push all the buttons and try them all out in order to make their choice. Suddenly I was in the aisle, surrounded by baby dolls, cooing and crawling and giggling and talking and crying. I started to sweat a little and I would have taken off running if it weren't for the responsibility to stay there and guard my own real children (whom I'm not scared of). I'm fine with a baby doll or two, but now I know that a room full of dolls is just flat SCARY. I might have nightmares tonight.

To save the day, both girls picked (without my encouraging them...much) itty bitty baby dolls which cost $3 each and make no noise. Aaaahhh...sleep in heavenly peace.

Fun Week - Days 7 and 8

Fun week is coming to a close. I'm going to miss Hubby being around when he goes back to work! Days 7 and 8 have been a little yucky for me. Only at night I have been sick for the past 2 nights, and last night was accompanied by hives which started on my neck, then moved to the creases behind my elbows and knees, then were everywhere by the time I woke up. Even my eyes were swollen. I have no idea what's going on, but I guess a visit to the doctor is in order. I had this "night virus" a couple of weeks ago too. I thought it was food poisoning last time, but it would be weird for it to keep happening...

Here's a happier thought to leave you with. Our first night at my brother- and sister-in-law's house, our whole family stayed in one room. They have a king-size bed, so Big Sissy slept with us. (OK, everyone did at some point during the night.) As she was lying there, I could tell she was having a hard time shutting her mind off.

Finally she said, "There's something that just doesn't make sense to me."

"What doesn't make sense?"

"Well, you and Daddy always tell me that I'm worth all the money in the whole world. But if that's true, then *Little Buddy* and *Little Sissy* aren't worth anything!"

She always cracks me up.

Fun Week - Day 6

On Day 6 we went from Indiana to Kentucky for my cousin's wedding. It was very beautiful and peaceful. I didn't know it was going to be an outdoor wedding, or I probably wouldn't have worn a SUIT--but it was lovely.

The 2nd bridesmaid is my cousin Sunshine, who will have her own wedding next month.

Little Miss Cutie in her favorite fancy dress.

My little princess dancing with Aunt DarDar.

Little Buddy flirting with Aunt DarDar. They kept doing this affectionate little head butt, and then she taught him to do "the sprinkler" dance. Hilarious!

Little Buddy with my grandpa. This is priceless to me.

Me, Big Sissy, and my sister "Aunt YaYa"

Fun Week - Day 5

Day 5 wasn't so fun, actually. We spent the morning packing and the afternoon/early evening travelling to Indiana. The evening was fun, though. We got to see my brother- and sister-in-law for a little while and enjoy a yummy steak dinner with them before they headed to STL. They were gracious to let us stay there as a half-way point on the way to my cousin's wedding in Kentucky. Then my sisters, niece, and nephew stopped by and were invited to also spend the night. I love slumber parties!

Fun Week - Day 4

Day 4 of Fun Week was like Day 4 of most weeks, except that Big Sissy's swimming lesson was conveniently rescheduled for the same day as Little Sissy's tumbling class. Since Daddy doesn't normally get to be there, it was still fun to do as a family event.

Fun Week - Day 3

Wednesday was my favorite day so far. The weather was perfect, and we spent the day at the Missouri Botanical Gardens. I think this is what heaven looks like. I feel so peaceful there. I've already decided that when I'm old I'm going there every day in my slacks and white sneakers, maybe even with my fanny pack. What a life! We also got to eat at my favorite restaurant--Amighetti's on the hill. Perfect.

Fun Week - Day 2

We've been hearing about this fun place called the Museum of Transportation lately. I have probably seen the sign 50 times, and it finally occurred to us that we should go check it out--especially after Beth blogged about their great day. So this was Day 2 of our week of fun.

Try to ignore the fact that I'm wearing my "special pajamas." That's code for the same clothes I wore the previous day AND slept in. It was one of those days where we had a hard enough time getting out the door, so guess which one of us didn't get a shower. The girls loved exploring the inside of the trains, although they were quite disappointed that we didn't actually get to use the toilets in there.

The most fun for them (and the most challenging for me) was the play area called Creation Station. They had toys, crafts, a puppet theatre, and flowers you could "plant" in a cup with dirt.

The reason it was challenging for me was the worker, who was so right-brained it is amazing she could function in the world. She came up with all the crafts herself, and they were adorable.

I wouldn't be surprised if she painted all the murals herself, and she quoted poetry to me that she had written. The. Whole. Time. She would always end with an enthusiastic, "Do you like that?" Somehow between my grunts and short responses, she took me to be a goddess, full of wisdom. Then she started sharing her struggles as a single mom and a person who is very creative but has no logic (her words, not mine). By the time I was stealthily backing toward the door, she was telling Hubby that I should be a counselor and thanking me over and over for my enlightenment. That was really painful because the whole time I was scheming my escape. Funny how God uses even the times that we are not wholeheartedly into the moment. The more I thought about her later, the more I thought that the world needs more people like her. She was simple, honest, and beautiful. Check me out in the picture. Wonder. Amazement. And wondering how fast I could get to that door.

Fun Week - Day 1

Hubby is off of work this week for a much deserved vacation. Since we are going out of town this weekend for my cousin's wedding and going to Pigeon Forge, TN in October, we decided to make it a "stay-cation." We're getting a few--very few--things done around the house and mostly just having FUN. Monday we went to the zoo with our sweet friends who are children's pastors in Georgia. They came with their triplets, who are the same age as Little Buddy. We had 4 adults and 6 children ages 4 and under. It was just about the right ratio.

Mama and My Girls

One Person's Trash...

is 13 bags of treasure for me! This is what I've been doing all week--sorting, organizing, pitching, storing, and delivering. My dear friend gave me all of these clothes for the girls. I was then inspired to clean out the stuff I'm done with and pass it on. Final Tally: 2 bags to Goodwill, 3 bags to the pregnancy resource center, 4 big bags and 3 small bags to friends. 13 in and 12'ish out. I feel good about that. I am so blessed!

We've Already Spent a Dime

Hubby and I are celebrating our 10th anniversary next week. I fully expect us to have 75 or more years together. If you think of it like being handed 75 cents, we've already spent a dime. I feel like we squandered our first nickel with bickering, grudges, disappointment, and selfishness. After some counseling and some maturing, the last nickel has been more wisely invested in building trust, valuing our differences, forgiveness, and partnering in our call to parenting. I'm glad for the change I have left. In more ways than one. Happy anniversary to my best friend. If I had a whole dollar left I'd want to spend it with you.

Civil War Heroes

General Little Buddy, loved by soldiers and civilians alike for being a fearless leader.

Confederate spy Big Sissy. Her calm and stoic nature contributed to her camouflaged identity.

Most women, like brave Little Sissy, took care of the homefront while the men were away.

Hey, that's me. Sorry. These aren't pictures from the Civil War after all. They're just our sketches from Chuck E. Cheese's. My bad.

The Mama Privilege

I know what she's saying when no one else does.

I know their idiosyncrasies. Little Buddy needs one for each hand. Little Sissy likes the bottom sheet but not the top sheet. Fancy shoes always. Big Sissy needs things all in a row and needs to complete the first thing before moving on to the next. Comfortable shoes always.

I know that when he moves toward the baby with his mouth open, he's going to kiss her--not bite her.

I know the names of all 57 stuffed animals in their beds and get to hold them when they're sad.

I know when the tears are real and when they're contrived.

I get the privilege of kissing the tears away.

I know their favorite foods, their fears, what makes them excited, what makes them sad.

I get to be their first teacher.

I get to hear her read her first words.

I get to watch him take his first steps.

I get to cheer when she goes on the potty for the first time.

I get to see things with fresh eyes as they explore.

I get to hold them and tell them how special they are.

I am in their corner, their advocate.

I am blessed to be their mama.

A Puddle Splasher Day

Hubby took off work today so we could go to the zoo, but alas, the weatherman was actually right this time. It DID rain all morning. We visited the "children's zoo" at Chuck E. Cheese's instead. The girls were just as excited to go there and get dressed up in their puddle splashers.

It's Just Soy Milk, Officer

He looks a little drunk, but I'm so proud!

Happy 15 Months, Little Buddy!

Dear Little Buddy,

I can't believe you are 15 months old today. You are becoming such a big boy right before my eyes. I'm not pregnant either, so I get to enjoy this phase without the extra tiredness of hosting a little sibling for you. Sometimes I wish you had a brother, though. One never knows what lies ahead for our family. But for now...I am loving this time with you.

The doctor says you are a little delayed with walking and talking. I knew that, but I'm not worried. You are taking some steps, and soon you'll figure out that talking gets you what you want much quicker than pointing and waiting. You'll get it, Buddy. In the meantime, you are so loveable and precious. You are always eager to give hugs and kisses, and so so so cuddly. Even though you are weaned now, I still cherish bedtime when I can rock you and read books with you and just cuddle. You are content there, and so am I.

You are also getting taller and leaner. When you were 5 months old we called you the Michelin Man because of all your rolls...

...but now you are growing long and lean like your daddy. You love to explore. You are exploring using utensils...

and climbing on every chair, table, and piece of furniture that you see.

Most of all, you are God's gift to our family. I love you so much, baby boy!

Recurring Dream

I am obsessed with movies about the Holocaust. Recently there was a Hallmark movie on about this very subject, and I nearly threw the TV through the window because now that we have the converter box the reception is TERRIBLE. My favorite movie is Life Is Beautiful. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it.

This all started in 6th grade, when our "enrichment" class studied Germany and WWII. We watched The Diary of Anne Frank, learned some German, and even saw pictures of incinerated bodies piled up. Seriously. I've had nightmares ever since. The recurring dream is that the Nazis are chasing me through my house, which looks like a church, and I have to keep going through secret passageways to get away from them. When I was about 22 I went to a church in Springfield, MO, and I realized that it looked like the church in my dreams. I could picture where the secret tunnels and hidden doors were. Creepy. I think one time they caught me and I never had the dream again...

until this week. Maybe it's the Hallmark movie or the fact that Big Sissy's best friend speaks German. Or it could be the fact that I feel like Christian values are being threatened more and more. But I dreamed that all Christians were being persecuted and forced into hiding. It was kind of an adrenaline rush, actually. This might just prove how boring my real life is. I think, though, that if I ever get to build my dream house I'm going to have a secret hiding place built in...just in case. Is that weird? Wait. Don't answer that.

Do you have a recurring dream?

Spring Program

Tonight was Big Sissy's last night of her 3-year-old choir. I remember sitting with her the first night, back in September, wondering if she would be OK, if she would make friends--typical mommy stuff. It's taken all year, but she has grown quite attached to the little girls in her class. Tonight was the grand finale. The grandparents came and made a big fuss over her, and we went home and had ice cream in waffle bowls. Here are some of the highlights.

Ready to go on the stage

Oops. One mom didn't get the dress code memo.

I think videographer Daddy forgot who the star of the show was supposed to be, although I have to admit that the tattoo-snake-on-the-arm kid was a riot.